In short, no one. No one needs dating.
I know this might be shocking, many of us spend years looking for and pining after that magical someone that will make us truly happy.
But really, why do you want that? I mean most of us don't want dating, but rather a loving relationship, marriage, or a fun experience or connection with someone special. This is why 'the why' is so vital. All the clarity for what we want and how to make it happen is born from why it matters so much to us. So why do you want a date? What will dating provide? What would be possible if you met that person? Only once you are clear about why you are dating, can you really get everything that you desire. And some of you might even find that what you are looking for can actually be achieved by methods other than dating (friendship, pets, team sports), and viola, you've got options!
Once your why is handled, you want to think about what you are looking for in a date/mate. Most people have a pretty clear idea about the things they don't want, and failed relationships can be really enlightening here. So why do we find ourselves dating the same type of person over and over, or having the same problems/fights pop up? It is not just about identifying what we don't want, it is about getting crystal clear about the qualities we are looking for. We attract what we focus on, and if you look for what you want to avoid, it will unfortunately keep showing up. It's like the adage don't think about the pink elephant.....I think you get the picture (and it's probably of a pink elephant). When we are clear about the amazing, juicy qualities we're looking for, you'd be surprised how often they show up. That perfect person might even be right under your nose.
So now what? You are clear about the kind of relationship, whether dating or long-term, you want in your life, and what that person is like. Now you want to look at yourself. I know, this isn't always everyone's favourite thing to do. I say experience the panic and resistance, breath, and let's do it anyway. Now that you know who you are looking for, ask yourself "Who do I have to be to attract that kind of person"? If he or she is fit, healthy, confident, gives back, and is living their dreams, what kind of mate would you be for them. And if you have some things to handle, let's get that handled. Most importantly, remember that you are already whole, complete and perfect just as you are. The secret is really being the person you wish to attract. My guess is, being that person won't have you needing anything or anyone in your life to make it, or you, complete.
So yes, having that incredible person to share experiences with, is what life is all about. And we don't need it! Not the way need implies filling some void, but rather as a fulfillment of our expression of living a great life and attracting someone delicious to share your life with. To create together and have 1 + 1 equal, not just 2, but 11.
Happy adventures in dating!
I know this might be shocking, many of us spend years looking for and pining after that magical someone that will make us truly happy.
But really, why do you want that? I mean most of us don't want dating, but rather a loving relationship, marriage, or a fun experience or connection with someone special. This is why 'the why' is so vital. All the clarity for what we want and how to make it happen is born from why it matters so much to us. So why do you want a date? What will dating provide? What would be possible if you met that person? Only once you are clear about why you are dating, can you really get everything that you desire. And some of you might even find that what you are looking for can actually be achieved by methods other than dating (friendship, pets, team sports), and viola, you've got options!
Once your why is handled, you want to think about what you are looking for in a date/mate. Most people have a pretty clear idea about the things they don't want, and failed relationships can be really enlightening here. So why do we find ourselves dating the same type of person over and over, or having the same problems/fights pop up? It is not just about identifying what we don't want, it is about getting crystal clear about the qualities we are looking for. We attract what we focus on, and if you look for what you want to avoid, it will unfortunately keep showing up. It's like the adage don't think about the pink elephant.....I think you get the picture (and it's probably of a pink elephant). When we are clear about the amazing, juicy qualities we're looking for, you'd be surprised how often they show up. That perfect person might even be right under your nose.
So now what? You are clear about the kind of relationship, whether dating or long-term, you want in your life, and what that person is like. Now you want to look at yourself. I know, this isn't always everyone's favourite thing to do. I say experience the panic and resistance, breath, and let's do it anyway. Now that you know who you are looking for, ask yourself "Who do I have to be to attract that kind of person"? If he or she is fit, healthy, confident, gives back, and is living their dreams, what kind of mate would you be for them. And if you have some things to handle, let's get that handled. Most importantly, remember that you are already whole, complete and perfect just as you are. The secret is really being the person you wish to attract. My guess is, being that person won't have you needing anything or anyone in your life to make it, or you, complete.
So yes, having that incredible person to share experiences with, is what life is all about. And we don't need it! Not the way need implies filling some void, but rather as a fulfillment of our expression of living a great life and attracting someone delicious to share your life with. To create together and have 1 + 1 equal, not just 2, but 11.
Happy adventures in dating!
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